October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Sadly, 1 in 4 women suffer from such a loss, and the number of people that devastation ripples out to is even greater. The numbers are so significant, and yet we as a society still struggle to speak on this topic.
October 15 is International Wave of Light day. This is a day where people around the world light a candle at 7 pm local time in remembrance of their baby or babies lost during pregnancy or shortly after. Keep your candle lit for at least one hour to create a continuous “wave of light” across all time zones covering the entire globe!
In 2017 my husband and I were set to have our 5th (yes 5th!), child. We were excited and anxious as the days grew closer. We hit 39 weeks, and like all of my other pregnancies, I expected to go well past my due date. Being that we’re not first-time parents we kept up the hustle and bustle that accompanies life when you have 4 small children. One evening as I laid down for bed I realized that baby boy didn’t seem to be moving much. On May 2, 2017, our son Rhys was born sleeping. I had to hear those dreaded words “there is no heartbeat”. Every day since has been a small struggle to find joy and meaning in a world where your child is gone. The world keeps turning, and almost immediately after the loss people move on. While that is to be expected as a grieving mother it feels so wrong. This day in October gives us mothers a chance to stop and remember our little ones.
It is so hard to know what to say to someone who has suffered such a loss, but the truth is no one knows what to say. The best thing you can do is to say something. I encourage you not to avoid the topic because I can promise you nearly every mom who has lost a child would love to hear their sweet name and have the chance to talk about them.
My life forever changed on May 2, 2017, and while the birth of my son Rhys has shaped me into the person I am today it still hurts.
If you have suffered the loss of a child I am truly sorry, no words take away the ache in your heart. There are support groups, and even facebook groups to help. It can give you a place to share thoughts and emotions that maybe you don’t otherwise have a good place to share. You can also find other women walking a similar journey.
Join me tonight in lighting a candle for your sweet babe. Let their light shine.
* Ashley Gable is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Also this blog may contain other affiliate links This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.